My grandparents-- my mom's parents-- were married for 65 years. It boggles the mind, I tell you. And they were the kind of couple who did everything together. They worked together, back when they worked. They went to church together. They were in Masonic organizations together.
By the time I was old enough to really form memories, they were already retired, and so some of my earliest memories of them are of them traveling together. They'd always bring my sister and me back a little gift, like a tiny wooden horse from Denmark, or a little music box. My grandfather had traveled to every state in the Union except for Alaska. I still wish he'd made it up there.
They had their little ways of doing things. Mimi always cooked, until she couldn't any more, and Granddad cleaned up. They made their bed together every morning. They paid for almost everything in cash; I never once saw them use a credit card.
They tithed. And when I say, "they tithed," I don't mean that they regularly gave donations to their church. I mean that they always gave a full ten percent of their gross income to their church. Perhaps my favorite story about my grandparents is the time they got audited. Apparently, the IRS had a hard time believing that anyone actually gave that much money to their church on a regular basis.
At the end of the audit, it turned out that the government owed them money. They were never audited again.
They were married during wartime, shortly before my granddad shipped out, in the basement of the preacher's house. No fancy dress; no expensive flowers; no big reception. No matter-- clearly, it took. Theirs was always the marriage I looked to for inspiration, for reassurance that a lifelong parthership really is possible.
When I married, I asked them for their best advice. They gave me a letter I'll always treasure. I wanted to share it here, in the hopes that it will prove good advice for others, too:
Our Darling SoCo,
You asked for our thoughts on how we achieved a long and happy marriage. It really doesn't seem like so long to us.
We married while Granddad was in the Army Air Corps during WWII. We were apart the first two years of our marriage. Maybe this helped us realize the blessing of being together. Mimi never threatened to "go home to Mama."
Things seemed to be so much simpler in those days than they are now. We didn't feel the need to "keep up with the Jonses" or anyone else.
We started our lives together going to church and Sunday school. We both grew up in church and taking part in the activities, so it was the natural thing for us to do. We knew faith in God was the foundation for a home and family. We are convinced that a Christian home is a must to help us cope with the problems of life.
We discuss any problems and solve them together.
We are best friends and enjoy doing things together.
We put each other first and ahead of all others.
We can truthfully say we have never argued about money. Granddad is very generous. We discuss the need for any large purchases and usually go together to buy them.
We have always shared the work of keeping the home going, each according to their time and ability. Granddad doesn't do much cooking except on the grill, but he helps clean up. Mimi isn't much help in the yard and garden.
When our children were small and growing up Granddad enjoyed helping and spending time with them. We both still enjoy our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. We feel truly blessed.
These are just a few of the things that have worked for us.
Our marriage isn't perfect, of course. We have had our "ups and downs." But with our faith in God and each other, and with our forgiving natures, we have always worked things out, and been stronger for them.
Very few nights have we gone to sleep without good-night kisses, and declaring our love for each other.
SoCo, dear, we know things are much different for young people now. There are many temptations and problems, but remember God is the same and is always there to strengthen and uphold you. If only you ask and have faith, He will hear.
With all our love and best wishes,
Granddad and Mimi
Mimi died on a Wednesday. I'm convinced that Granddad, who had been so worried during our last few visits about what would happen to Mimi if he died, simply didn't feel that he needed to hold on after that. He'd been fighting heart problems and kidney problems for a long time, and, honestly, he'd fought on far longer than we'd ever expected him to. He died the next day.
They were buried on a Monday, together. It was sad-- of course it was-- but it also seemed somehow so . . . right. For a couple who have been inseparable for 65 years, how could even death keep them apart for long?
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let light perpetual shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.
